Spare a flush

So, I was just over in Shibles where I encountered a really disturbing proposition: A sticker in the bathroom stall reading "Save a Fish, Spare a Flush."

Right, so I'm all over UMaine's green campus initiative and all, but I have to say there should be certain limits to appropriate conservation. For one, this sticker was in a PUBLIC BATHROOM. Public as in - I don't know whose pee that is. Or worse, I don't know whose ANYTHING that is, and I'm not about to plunk myself down intimately inches away from it. Plus, everyone has experienced an inconvenient "splash" or two in their life (you know exactly what I'm saying), and the idea that some stranger's bathroom production would be involved in that special splash is repulsive.

In a men's bathroom - sure. Most of the men I know wouldn't hesitate for one second to pee all over someone else's bowl-business. I think it's in their nature - like marking territory or something. However, we women are refused the luxury of remaining feet away from the problem, as we sit/hover/cower/whatever within dangerously proximate range.

And let's think of the dominant population here... college students. Anyone who's ever lived-in knows for sure that this particular group isn't markedly tidy. We spend an unfortunate amount of time teaching these fools to flush the toilet in general in the residence halls (where one significant bathroom "episode" can significantly deteriorate the quality of life for everyone on a floor), only to be met with such opposition from the academic buildings' strange affinity for fish-saving. I think we can bank on the fact that few of them know how to flush anyway, so plenty of fish are living it up in their wake. To deter the avid flushers from doing their learned civic duty is just ridiculous.

I think the "If it's yellow" doctrine is applicable to home bases only, and we might need to rethink the level of excitement over conservation on campus. My apologies to the fish.